Chinese are horrible tourists

UPDATE Summer 2021,  Check this shit out

UPDATE Feb 2020 - below

Dear fellow traveler.   Do all Asians ‘look alike’ to you?  Good news, that doesn't make you racist.  Also, it isn’t discrimination.  Far from it.  You are not a racist.  You are just a willfully ignorant traveler. We all start out that way.  If you could discriminate features and behaviors, THEN you could be racist and generalize... like I am about to right now.

If you were a discriminating person, then you would know which specific people you were slandering with your racist generalizations.  I am here to help.

First off, the Japanese are (still) the ones with cameras.  You are thinking, duh.  It's travel, everyone has a camera.  No, they don't.  Everyone else is using their cell phones.  My cell phone camera surpassed my actual camera in megapixels about 8 years ago. Even if I lost or busted my cell phone, all the pictures up through the night before are backed up now. I don’t know if digital cameras do that, but I suppose many do.  A rough guess would say 80% of tourists are just using their cell phones now.  Except the Japanese.

Ok, now you can figure out which Asians are Japanese.  Look at you, you budding little racist!  *** NOT TRUE - I love the Japanese.  I have no beef with them, and have not said a single thing unkind.  We are not here to pick on the Japanese, or any other Asians.  No sir, we are here to pick on the Chinese.

Chinese people are mean.  There, I said it.  Now let's get into it.  I have traveled a decent number of places internationally.   Ok, let me clarify before I insult an entire continent.  Chinese people may be fine.  They probably are.  Chinese tourists, though... especially female and older, are just terrible people monsters. I can finally prove it.  I have literally had this piece in my head for the last decade... but I was afraid to write it.  That was... until I saw the train story. Then, there is what our Austrian tour guide said, verbatim 

"There are civilized people, and then there are the Chinese."  
- our Austrian (local) tour guide

I don’t even know what prompted that comment, but it wasn’t me.  I was all kinds of validated after I heard that, though.  After he made that comment, even Linda popped up "yeah, what is up with that?  I am scared of them!"  Linda said that!  Linda is a very very sweet older retired gal who spent her life teaching diversity classes on a native American reservation school.  That means there is no one nicer or more patient on Earth than Linda.  and the Chinese pissed off Linda.  Once I had those two bullets (Linda, and our guide)... I knew I had to write this piece.

Soon, everyone was piping up about their recent experiences with Chinese tourists.  As I am writing this, I wanted to do some research.  Maybe I am just culturally insensitive.  Has anyone else had troubles with Chinese tourists?

um... turns out big YES on that one.  Read on!

In Switzerland, Chinese tourists are given their own trains to travel in.  I thought this was an Onion article when I first found it.Switzerland has introduced special coaches for Chinese tourists, as locals consider them to be ‘loud’ and ‘rude’.This is some serious shit.  This is segregation.  This is ‘separate but equal’.  This is how we treated black people.  50 years ago!  You think the people who put this program together didn’t know that?  You think they didn’t understand the potential blowback from one of the most powerful… and potentially threatening, countries on Earth?  I thought the Swiss were a happy and contented cheese eating people.

This BBC articles blames their “strong presence”.  I like that.  That is diplomatically handled. 

A mountain resort in Switzerland is launching special train services for Chinese tourists to defuse tensions with other visitors, it is reported.Noisy throngs of Chinese tourists disturb those who visit Mount Rigi in the Alps in search of peace and relaxation, reports the Swiss newspaper Blick.

They crowd the corridors while taking pictures from the train, there has been rudeness in packed carriages, and some even report seeing tourists spit on the floor, the paper says. Visitors from Asia have helped to bring the struggling local railway company back on track, but, according to its chief Peter Pfenniger, "their strong presence is a challenge".

I am a thinker, and I have been stewing over this for years.  Why the Chinese?

I think culturally they are just super alpha, and tough as nails.  These are not a meek people, and never have been.  They are a land of conquerors and pioneers.  While annoying, I also must admit I admire their chutzpah.  In Thailand, Chinese folks were kinda respected and kinda feared.

Think of being at the Louvre, there are probably a thousand people in front of the Mona Lisa at any minute.  Imagine a tourist behind you telling you to get out of the way so they can take a picture.  Now, imagine that same person expects all 1,000 people to move out of her way for her single need.  NOW... imagine it works and we all DO get the fuck out of the way.  That lady is scary!  That lady is the middle aged Chinese tourist.

I bet they got the best pictures, though.  I missed my sunset pics at Angkor Watt because of this terrorist behind me.  In fact, many of my memories of Ankgor Wat was Chinese women screaming at everyone to get ou of their shot.  Now... I know better.  I would ignore her.  Then, though, I did not.  I was a naive and respectful tourist.  What an ass I was.

UPDATE 2020

they are literally ruining Antactica now.  China is one of the few countries that (for some reason) takes tourists to Antactica.  It's creating problems.  I read this week they are littering everywhere, and getting in the way of the science.  Now, I read they have been hunting down there.  WTF?

Prague and Vienna - this is how you renovate!

Just got back from a 2 week trip across Eastern Europe.  Got to see a ton of amazing architecture.  I write to tell you about this, though.  With every damn building there being older than our entire country, there is a TON of renovation to be done.  Look how they do it.  The area they are renovating… they cover up with a picture of what is supposed to be there if they weren’t renovating.

So, instead of looking at scaffolding… you see the building.  It’s incredible, and brilliant.
This is St Stephens cathedral in Vienna.  It is the second most powerful church I have ever experienced (the first was seeing the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona).  My GOD this church was magnificent.  The pictures just don't do it justice.  When I see things like this, I almost wish I was still Catholic.  BUT... then I remember how munch money and resources go into these churches... INSTEAD of helping people.***  Anyhow, take a look.

See that?  You don't, do you?  What you do not see is Iocaine powder.  Sorry, dumb joke.  Look again, where I circled.

they covered up the part they are renovating with a picture of the part they are renovating.  Here is another.  This is the Prague Astronomical Clock.  Apparently, it is why people go to Prague.  I am embarrassed to admit I had never heard of it until we were there.  This is the Astronomical Clock, and it is apparently 600 years old.

Sadly, this is not what we saw.  As I mentioned, it was being renovated.  Though I am a little sad, I can't be too sad... I didn't know it existed until a week ago.  Anyhow, look how it looks now.

The clock is covered by a tapestry which shows the clock.  Even better?  It is still a totally functioning clock!  They have a digital projector behind it that shows the right time, month, etc.  The actual clock isn't even there!  It was disassembled to be repaired.  600 year old things are testy that way.

From the pics, it's tough to even tell this isn't it.  Look to the right, though.  You can briefly see the actual structure and a bit of the scaffolding.  Bravo, man!

*** instead of helping - turns out I wasn't the first person to turn on the Catholic Church with that little bit o' wisdom.  Mad props to Martin Luther, who handed this little mess quite effectively 400 years ago.  Read more about him, here.  My lord that is well written.  

Steves explains succinctly, and in plain speak, the history of every major Christianity sect in 12 pages.  You really, really, must read this.

Don't worry, I am still an atheist.  Growing up Catholic made sure of that!  Too bed I wasn't born into a Lutheran family... I might not have turned against the church.

*** editors note - Almost all of the pictures in this series were taken by me.  The pictures in these pieces will very soon be replaced by high quality and high resolution clickable pictures.  I am jumping across publishing platforms, though... so these instead are screencaps, basically.  Apologies.
                                                                                                         Lono - June 2018

Czech Please!

Fun quiz – how do your get your check after eating in a Czech restaurant?

• Wait for them to bring it
• Politely approach them and ask for check
• Hope they come back to the table, and then you can ask
• Just pay at the register

Ha ha ha, you dummy!  It is a trick question.  It would appear NONE of those are correct.  I can tell you which one is the most incorrect, though.  Getting up and politely approaching the waiter asking for the check.  Someone in our party did that, and was literally told to “go sit down”.  Not even a please.  Even better?  They still didn’t bring the check.

Bonus trivia – do not be a woman traveling in Eastern Europe.  Their contempt and misogyny is not masked even a tiny bit.  I traveled to several old communist block countries with 6 women.  I was the only man.  When we would go out to eat, the waiters wouldn’t even look the women in the eye.  When they would ask questions, dude would inevitably turn to me to answer.  Oh, and I was ALWAYS brought the check.

Maybe you are asking yourself... "so what is the correct way to receive a restaurant check?"  I honestly can't tell you, we never found out.  Each and every time, it was a disaster.  It also added, generally speaking, about 25 minutes to every experience.  For fun, we would experiment with different ideas and approaches.  Almost all were met with utter contempt.  We did learn this much, sadly... if you want anything (change for a $20, a menu, the bill)... have a male in your party request it.  They will out and out completely ignore any female if a male is present.  Trust me, like I said... we tested it.  We spent 2 weeks across about 5 countries having to eat out almost every meal.

Was listening to a great podcast from Rick Steves*** and this issue came up.  He was chatting to a local, and asked if they hate tourists.  The local gal laughed and said it had nothing to do with tourists, they are just rude to everyone.

One last note on this.  When you study up (and you should before you travel anywhere... it is always a good investment) you will hear every author say the exact same thing:  eating in Europe is not a speed event.  Slow down and enjoy your meal and your vacation!"    While that is fine advice, it isn't practical.  I have an ENTIRE country to explore in exactly 8 hours.  I do not have time for lunch to be 3 hours.  Odds are, I will never be here again, so I would like to see more of BudaPest than your fine cafe.

* interesting side note about every cafe & restaurant we hit.  When you pay with credit card, they NEVER walk away with your credit card.  It never leaves your site.  They bring a machine to the table and swipe it in front of you.  Must be an identity theft thing.  I was always pleased to see that.

*** Rick Steves sidebar - 

You would be a fool to travel without Rick Steves.  Here is what is great about Rick Steves... and what makes him different.  He has and gives opinions.  Lonely Planet used to be like that.  They talked to you straight.  Now, they are just another sterile guide to the obvious tourist places.   Steves will not hesitate to tell you what is a total scam and is best avoided.  Many of his resources are free.  Let's say you are going to Wadiya.  Buy the Wadiya book for the $14 it costs, I promise my life it will have saved you that much money within your first 24 hours there.  Buy one about a month before you go.

I truly can't say enough wonderful things about Rick Steves and his travel empire.  He may be the biggest name in all of European travel guides (I have no idea)... but it wouldn't surprise me.  He deserves it, you'll see!

The single main difference between America and Eastern Europe

There are lots of differences, of course.  Millions, probably.  The obvious one is history, in that their building and… heck… their trees – are older than our country.  That isn’t the big difference that I want to tell you about.  There are almost no black people in any of those countries (Austria, Check Republic, BudaPest).  Wait, not even sure which of those are countries versus cities.  It was a blur.  Every day on the Danube we would wake up in a new country.  Anyone, after 10 days in Eastern Europe, I saw ONE black person.  It took me a few days to notice this, and I mentioned it to our group.  My wife then elbowed me for being racist.   I said “this has nothing to do with racism.  Trust me, I prefer non whites… but look around” and everyone had to agree.  7 of us, in ten days, saw one single black. He was our Uber driver in Vienna, and was awesome.

Guns, right?  No.  not here to write about guns.  But yes, obviously that is a big difference.  People would ask me “why is America obsessed with guns?  Guns won’t protect you when the Germans come.”

But that isn’t why I write.  HERE is the biggest difference between Eastern Europe and the US.  Corporate influence over everything.  American culture is entirely run by corporations.  EVERY SINGLE aspect of our lives is dictated by that.  Our lawmakers?  They are bought and paid for by large corporations.  It’s our fault, we have created a system where they can’t govern.  Our representatives spend every waking money raising money, not governing.  Did you know to stay in the House of Representatives (the Donny Wahlberg of Govt.  You don’t want this job.  Its only 2 years.  Why bother?  Go for the Senate!  It’s a 6 year term, and that is where presidents come from)… it costs $15,000 a DAY.

A House of Representatives congressperson has to raise an average of $15K a day to stay in office.  With only a 2 year term, they are basically running for re-election every waking moment.   So, businesses pay to fund them to protect their interests.  It means they also get to write our laws. 

I just didn’t see that in Eastern Europe.  I didn’t feel that big business had that kind of hold of culture.  I think if we were here in America, you might find a McDonalds in St Stephens.

An example – when I was in the Czech Republic, we were doing a beautiful drive from Prague   to Cesky Krumlov and I saw all these billboards with nothing on them but the Czech flag on it.  Here is one of those bllboards now.  I took this pic from my cell phone.

I asked our wonderful and awesome driver why this is.  He explained it was because they used to be commercial billboards.  However, drivers found them distracting to the driving process.  They wanted to be able to keep their eyes on the road.  So, the govt gave every company 3 years to have every billboard gone.  Of course, this was done a year early.   In this part of the world, people are well trained to listen to the govt.  That’s what a few hundred years of constant occupation does to the psyche.

As for the flag?  He said “well, we had to put something there”.  I then asked ‘well, why not take down the actual billboard structure when you take down the billboard?”   I don’t remember his answer.  I mean, we drove 3 hours each way… and I was in shotgun.  So, he and I chatted literally for 6 hours.  I am a curious boy.  Here is all of us in the big Mercedes SUV heading to Cesky Krumlov together.

that is 8 folks jammed into a Mercedes 'Sprinter' type van.  I am in shotgun with that stupid grin, taking a van selfie.  If you haven't traveled much... THIS is what traveling looks like.  Your pictures show you at the Roman Colosseum.  That was less than 1% of your trip to Rome.  ALL you are actually doing is driving somewhere.  Ok, that is a whole separate rant.