Czech Please!

Fun quiz – how do your get your check after eating in a Czech restaurant?

• Wait for them to bring it
• Politely approach them and ask for check
• Hope they come back to the table, and then you can ask
• Just pay at the register

Ha ha ha, you dummy!  It is a trick question.  It would appear NONE of those are correct.  I can tell you which one is the most incorrect, though.  Getting up and politely approaching the waiter asking for the check.  Someone in our party did that, and was literally told to “go sit down”.  Not even a please.  Even better?  They still didn’t bring the check.

Bonus trivia – do not be a woman traveling in Eastern Europe.  Their contempt and misogyny is not masked even a tiny bit.  I traveled to several old communist block countries with 6 women.  I was the only man.  When we would go out to eat, the waiters wouldn’t even look the women in the eye.  When they would ask questions, dude would inevitably turn to me to answer.  Oh, and I was ALWAYS brought the check.

Maybe you are asking yourself... "so what is the correct way to receive a restaurant check?"  I honestly can't tell you, we never found out.  Each and every time, it was a disaster.  It also added, generally speaking, about 25 minutes to every experience.  For fun, we would experiment with different ideas and approaches.  Almost all were met with utter contempt.  We did learn this much, sadly... if you want anything (change for a $20, a menu, the bill)... have a male in your party request it.  They will out and out completely ignore any female if a male is present.  Trust me, like I said... we tested it.  We spent 2 weeks across about 5 countries having to eat out almost every meal.

Was listening to a great podcast from Rick Steves*** and this issue came up.  He was chatting to a local, and asked if they hate tourists.  The local gal laughed and said it had nothing to do with tourists, they are just rude to everyone.

One last note on this.  When you study up (and you should before you travel anywhere... it is always a good investment) you will hear every author say the exact same thing:  eating in Europe is not a speed event.  Slow down and enjoy your meal and your vacation!"    While that is fine advice, it isn't practical.  I have an ENTIRE country to explore in exactly 8 hours.  I do not have time for lunch to be 3 hours.  Odds are, I will never be here again, so I would like to see more of BudaPest than your fine cafe.

* interesting side note about every cafe & restaurant we hit.  When you pay with credit card, they NEVER walk away with your credit card.  It never leaves your site.  They bring a machine to the table and swipe it in front of you.  Must be an identity theft thing.  I was always pleased to see that.

*** Rick Steves sidebar - 

You would be a fool to travel without Rick Steves.  Here is what is great about Rick Steves... and what makes him different.  He has and gives opinions.  Lonely Planet used to be like that.  They talked to you straight.  Now, they are just another sterile guide to the obvious tourist places.   Steves will not hesitate to tell you what is a total scam and is best avoided.  Many of his resources are free.  Let's say you are going to Wadiya.  Buy the Wadiya book for the $14 it costs, I promise my life it will have saved you that much money within your first 24 hours there.  Buy one about a month before you go.

I truly can't say enough wonderful things about Rick Steves and his travel empire.  He may be the biggest name in all of European travel guides (I have no idea)... but it wouldn't surprise me.  He deserves it, you'll see!

The single main difference between America and Eastern Europe

There are lots of differences, of course.  Millions, probably.  The obvious one is history, in that their building and… heck… their trees – are older than our country.  That isn’t the big difference that I want to tell you about.  There are almost no black people in any of those countries (Austria, Check Republic, BudaPest).  Wait, not even sure which of those are countries versus cities.  It was a blur.  Every day on the Danube we would wake up in a new country.  Anyone, after 10 days in Eastern Europe, I saw ONE black person.  It took me a few days to notice this, and I mentioned it to our group.  My wife then elbowed me for being racist.   I said “this has nothing to do with racism.  Trust me, I prefer non whites… but look around” and everyone had to agree.  7 of us, in ten days, saw one single black. He was our Uber driver in Vienna, and was awesome.

Guns, right?  No.  not here to write about guns.  But yes, obviously that is a big difference.  People would ask me “why is America obsessed with guns?  Guns won’t protect you when the Germans come.”

But that isn’t why I write.  HERE is the biggest difference between Eastern Europe and the US.  Corporate influence over everything.  American culture is entirely run by corporations.  EVERY SINGLE aspect of our lives is dictated by that.  Our lawmakers?  They are bought and paid for by large corporations.  It’s our fault, we have created a system where they can’t govern.  Our representatives spend every waking money raising money, not governing.  Did you know to stay in the House of Representatives (the Donny Wahlberg of Govt.  You don’t want this job.  Its only 2 years.  Why bother?  Go for the Senate!  It’s a 6 year term, and that is where presidents come from)… it costs $15,000 a DAY.

A House of Representatives congressperson has to raise an average of $15K a day to stay in office.  With only a 2 year term, they are basically running for re-election every waking moment.   So, businesses pay to fund them to protect their interests.  It means they also get to write our laws. 

I just didn’t see that in Eastern Europe.  I didn’t feel that big business had that kind of hold of culture.  I think if we were here in America, you might find a McDonalds in St Stephens.

An example – when I was in the Czech Republic, we were doing a beautiful drive from Prague   to Cesky Krumlov and I saw all these billboards with nothing on them but the Czech flag on it.  Here is one of those bllboards now.  I took this pic from my cell phone.

I asked our wonderful and awesome driver why this is.  He explained it was because they used to be commercial billboards.  However, drivers found them distracting to the driving process.  They wanted to be able to keep their eyes on the road.  So, the govt gave every company 3 years to have every billboard gone.  Of course, this was done a year early.   In this part of the world, people are well trained to listen to the govt.  That’s what a few hundred years of constant occupation does to the psyche.

As for the flag?  He said “well, we had to put something there”.  I then asked ‘well, why not take down the actual billboard structure when you take down the billboard?”   I don’t remember his answer.  I mean, we drove 3 hours each way… and I was in shotgun.  So, he and I chatted literally for 6 hours.  I am a curious boy.  Here is all of us in the big Mercedes SUV heading to Cesky Krumlov together.

that is 8 folks jammed into a Mercedes 'Sprinter' type van.  I am in shotgun with that stupid grin, taking a van selfie.  If you haven't traveled much... THIS is what traveling looks like.  Your pictures show you at the Roman Colosseum.  That was less than 1% of your trip to Rome.  ALL you are actually doing is driving somewhere.  Ok, that is a whole separate rant.

Audible.com - an early user opinion

I keep this website up simply to house my tangents.  Too often, I get too far off point as I write.  Author's use footnotes, I use this.  When I get too far off topic, but still want to express the rest of the thought... I warehouse it here.

This particular tangent is from this section of my main website.

This is about my brief experience with Audible.com

I should note they did nothing wrong.  I was just very disappointed with what the offer was.  I drive a lot.  Probably about 25 to 30 hours a week in my truck.  So, I listen to a lot of podcasts and books on tape.  Up to now, I have been using my local library.  They are awesome!  Through a free app on my phone called 'Overdrive' I can borrow audiobooks from the library right to my cell phone... without ever stepping foot into the library.  Problem is, their selection is understandably limited. 
I have heard Audible commercials for years.  I had a loose understanding of the concept, which was - pay about $10 a month and listen to however much you want.  I don't want, or need, to own the books.  Just want to stream them.  At a good clip, I knock out about a book a week.  I figured maybe that is worth $10 a month.

I was wrong.  Again, nothing Audible did wrong.  I just misunderstood the deal.  The deal, instead, is this - $15 a month, and you get 1 book a month.  That's it.  Finish your book in 3 days (like I just did)?  You have to wait 3 more weeks, or buy a new credit at $15 to get a new book early.

At the rate I consume, that I would have to pay about $50 a month.  They do have an unlimited program, but it costs about that much.  I chatted with their customer service last night, and dude was extremely helpful.

Here is the situation I am in.  The next book I want to read is Christopher Moore's 'Second Hand Souls'.  It is a continuation of his amazing book 'A Dirty Job'.  Here are my choices to listen to that book tomorrow:

not listen to it tomorrow, but wait 3 weeks for a new credit from Audible
pay $16.53 to Audible for a new credit (on top of the monthly $14.95 I pay already)
pay Amazon.com $15.97 to stream it right to my phone

It is cheaper for me to get it through Amazon than through Audible.  AND... if I do that I may as well just drop Audible.com.   The weird part is this, though - Amazon owns Audible.

I know we aren't allowed to use the term 'retarded' anymore... but I have to cite myself in this bizarre business practice. About 15 years ago, I wrote about United's low cost carrier Ted.  It didn't last long, because their tickets cost more than full fare United tickets.

Guns & Roses riot St Louis

I tend to go off on so many tangents that I created this appendix blog just for my own side rants.  if I had a half decent editor (or... and editor at all) we wouldn't need this site.

the thing is, I think my tangents are interesting and pertinent.  So... I keep them, but move them over here to help with flow.

This piece here is a footnote to my 'Found Sound' piece.

Here is a funny aside I just remembered as I was typing this up.  It think it was Guns' second riot- St Louis, or something like that.  Axl saw a guy taking a picture.  Axl snapped, and dove in the crowd.  Then, he beat the kid up... and then stormed out of the arena.  This ended the big show. They were, understandably, banned from St Louis for a long time.  With that in mind, I have changed my position.  I now FULLY endorse Rolling Stone making money off illegal G&R footage.
During the band's performance of "Rocket Queen", the 15th song in the set (counting drum and guitar solos), lead singer Axl Rose, in the middle of the chorus, pointed out a fan who was taking still pictures of the show, saying "...Hey, take that! Take that! Now, get that guy and take that!" When security was unable to deal with the person, Rose decided to confiscate the camera himself, saying "I'll take it, god damn it!" and then jumped into the audience and tackled the person.

 After taking the camera, striking members of the audience and the security team, and being pulled out of the audience by crew members, Rose grabbed his microphone and said "Well, thanks to the lame-ass security, I'm going home!", slammed his microphone on the stage and left.

The sound the microphone made sounded to some fans like a gunshot. After Rose left, lead guitarist Slash quickly told the audience, "He just smashed the microphone. We're out of here." This infuriated the audience, setting off a riot in which dozens of people were injured.

The footage was captured by Robert John, who was documenting the entire tour for the band. Rose was charged with having incited the riot, but police were unable to arrest him until almost a year later, as the band went overseas to continue the tour.

Lighten up, Francis!

site explained

Hey all,

I do a lot of writing.  Primarily, it is these two sites.  My regular site - I am Correct.com, and my music site Maybe I am Wrong.com (see what I did there?).   In my writing, I get very tangential... just lost down side roads.  I figured it would be clearer, and easier reading, if I moved some of these tangents aside.  That is what this is for.  Almost always, you will find a link to the original piece.  You should always start there.  No pieces, aside from this, will originate here.

Joni Mitchell death hoax - Did I do that?

When I wrote this piece, it was late at night.  Initially, there was very little information about Joni’s condition.  Just that she had been rushed to the hospital unconscious.

I was literally in bed when I read that, I jumped up, and fired up the blog!

In order to be first to the story, my initial piece was titled ‘Joni Mitchell passes away’.  I wrote it as a draft in the Blogger application.  Google, as you may know, owns Blogger.  This becomes pertinent in a moment.

As I was writing, I was desperate for information.  I news googled ‘joni mitchell’ in every combination of ‘health, sick, dies’ etc etc.  I came across a headline that said “Joni Mitchell passes away”.  FUCK, I thought.  That sucks.  Oh well, at least I will have a timely Joni Mitchell piece for when the world wakes up to the bad news.  I clicked on the link for details.  It was my own damn article.  Apparently, it slipped out of draft status and into ‘publish’ status.  I felt dumb, and bad.  I immediately went back and deleted the article all together.  Google had indexed my headline from my silly little blog and had it as a national headline in about 20 minutes.

If you were up at 3 am that evening, and this includes you, Joni… I would just like to say I am sorry that I accidentally killed Joni Mitchell on the internet.  Proof you can’t believe everything you read.

Clear Channel changes their name

I was ranting up a piece on Clear Channel and I saw they changed their name.  In short, let's just call that an admission of guilt.  Companies love to do this when they have a shit shit name in the marketplace.



Phillip Morris got a bad name for killing people with ciggies.  Then, they got a worse name when they were caught lying to Congress about the addictive properties about ciggies.  Then, their name got worse when a 60 minutes story blew up into an Al Pacino movie about them covering up their cover up.  So what do you do?  Change your name to something pretty.  They are now Altria.  It sounds like a air freshener.  Problem solved about the killing people willingly and covering it up.  That was a bunch of meanies at Phillip Morris.

Blackwater... that was those mercenary guys who just killed people, right?  I mean a LOT of people, right?  Weren't they just, literally, Dick Cheney's asssain squad in the middle east?  They sure were.  Problem is with the internet and technology, everyone knows they are not a 'security firm'.  They are murderous thug monster hit men for the US Govt.  Man, what jerks, right?  Good thing they are gone.  Now they are Academi.  Gee, that sounds nice.  Sounds like learning and stuff.  I guess we had them all wrong.

Comcast was one of the few companies to be the most hated company in America two years running.  Comcast was/is more hated than the IRS, and I am serious on that.  They were known for poor service, monopolistic pricing, and a general apathy towards customers.  Here, just watch this.



Man, what a bunch of assholes, right?  Nope.  They are Xfinity now.  Yay, I think they make space legos or something.

Remember Qwest?  They were the really mean phone company that bought out the apathetic and useless US West.  Qwest stormed into Denver and put their bright blue logo on our tallest buildings.  They left that logo light on all night.  We all fucking hated it.  You could literally see it from Red Rocks.  Anyhow, they are all in jail now.  and Qwest is gone.  They are now Century Link.  That just sounds like two benevolent bankers hugging, a la 'it's a Wonderful Life'

Remember Clear Channel, those dicks that bought up every single radio station in the US?  Remember how they took a ton of shit when people found out they eliminated all local DJs, and basically ran the country from a building in Denver?  Remember how they spent a good 12 years trying to make Peter Gabriel relevant again... by playing that Afro Celt System song 27 times a day for all those years?  Who the hell is 'Afro Celt Sound System', anyway?  Remember how they took a ton of shit for censoring about 130 songs after 9/11 because they thought you couldn't handle it?  Remember how they got nailed in a big payola/concert scandal with Live Nation?   The two together were telling bands 'play our shitty event, for no money, or you don't get played on our stations... which is all of them'.  Oops, not one lawsuit.... but 22 of them.

Do you remember when it got weird when you realized up and down the dial, even no matter what genre you cross... you were listening to a Clear Channel station?  Remember when the story leaked that Clear Channel was a super religious fundy organization... owned by Mitt Romney?  Don't worry, those aholes are gone.  It is now 'I heart media'.

Sadly, those are all just off the top of my head.  Here are some companies that oughta consider it - British Petroleum, Dish, and Guns and Roses.